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08 April 2007 @ 09:57 pm
trains derail  
Happy easter. I spent most of the day sitting in my room watching bad movies online and stupid documentaries on TV. I had an emotional breakdown during the first part of the day, which led to me cleaning my room. I finally took down my Christmas tree. It was a big deal. It was the last thing that I have that really reminded me of Jimmy and I. I cried the whole time I was taking it down. But after that, I felt kind of refreshed.

Later on I was finishing up cleaning and my uncle called and told me my Grandma was in the hospital. She's having lung problems, and they keep finding more problems since she's been there. I'm going to see her Wednesday. Hopefully she'll pull through. I'd be a wreck if something happened to her.

If there is a god, or any type of higher power, I'm convinced that he's out to get me. I'm convinced that I'll never find peace. I'm convinced that I'll never be satisfied. I'm convinced that I don't stand a change.

Someone give me hope. Someone give me faith.
 
 
 
_allmylove on April 9th, 2007 02:26 am (UTC)
Sometimes hope and faith are bad thing. You just need to be strong and let fate take it's place. Everybody goes through some shit in their life, the trick is to not worry too much. Every problem is solved. I promise. Though I'm not sure you understand, I feel I'm not getting through to you anymore.

But I do feel for you. My grandmother was in the hospital for a while. Not just once, though, she fell 2 times and it took months to heal, and we never thought she'd walk again. I know it's nothing compared to breathing or other severe problems, but it's sorta the same.

kily.
kdubb: Jesse: his eyes are so blue.prettysighs on April 9th, 2007 03:37 am (UTC)
My love, my love. You are incredibly strong, don't for one second think you're not. I wish you all the best with your grandma, and I'm here for you, always.
(Anonymous) on April 17th, 2007 02:26 am (UTC)
"Someone give me hope. Someone give me faith"

I wish I could, love. Life is usually quite horrible, unless you are one of those rare people who are born with money and beauty.

Love can make up for the badness, I'm just sad that you got twice as lucky-and unlucky in love. I'm rambling. I love you.